Friday, November 07, 2008

Indulge me in a little fantasy

Since voters in some states, heavily influenced by advertising and outright lies by various well-organized christofascists, have decided that some citizens are not allowed to marry....

What if, in the interest of equality, we decided that nobody can marry? In order to give such an arrangement teeth we might have to criminalize marriage. Fair enough, no?

Nobody gets "special rights" anymore. No obligations, no rights, no privileges, no benefits. All tax returns filed singly, of course.

Everyone may cohabit as they please but there will be no legal recognition whatsoever.

If you want to own property together you will want to hire an attorney to hammer out your agreement because nothing will be automatic. Your standing, when your beloved falls ill, is only that of "friend." You will have no say in healthcare or emergency treatment or end-of-life or quality-of-life issues. You may observe at a distance. Unless you go to the effort and expense to make sure you have iron-clad arrangements in place with full documentation. Your beloved's parents or siblings will, of course, make all funeral arrangements and decisions regarding the disposition of remains in case of death. You are just a friend, after all.

You'd better work out some kind of arrangement about children too. Who has parental custody and authority? Just because you contributed a sperm, guy, don't count on that giving you any say in this offspring. Or, in the interest of egalitarianism, maybe even the woman who bore the child will have to allow the state some say in whether the child is really hers. Some folks don't seem to want to give women any say in what happens to, through, or by means of their bodies after all.

Inheritance? Better brush up that will.

Pre-nups are child's play. Now that we have no-nups everybody will have to work out every detail in full legal codification and have it signed and notarized and filed away. Don't you just love paperwork?

Employers will get a real break on healthcare costs as they will only cover individuals and never a spouse or partner. Why should they support their employees' friends, after all?

Nobody will be allowed to marry. No civil marriage at the courthouse. No marriage certificate. No marital status.

Religious institutions may bless or not bless anyone as they please but since there were no recorded vows or ceremony in Eden when God allegedly instituted marriage the whole industry is probably bogus even from a religious standpoint. And Saint Paul discourages it anyway.

Hey, we won't have to worry about divorce anymore! Except, trust me on this one, you may find that it takes more paperwork to divide assets than it ever took to acquire them. And nothing may be assumed or left to chance. An attorney's paradise.

You get the idea. I am sure you can run with it.

Sound absurd?

Welcome to our world.

But it would be pefectly fair.
--the BB


it's margaret said...

I think abundance is a much better deal.... open marriage to all.

I am aching too.

Paul said...

Well, of course, Margaret. God is a God of abundance, of prodigal love and blessing, and we are called to be like God in this.

But sometimes ya gotta push the image to make the point. This is all irony, of course, but I hope it provokes some thought.