Let us hold Ostrich in prayer:
Terrible nights mean that the days are a real struggle. I feel like my brain has been scrambled and fried. I have this strange sensation on the inside of my skull - as if it is sore and angry, as if the constant chaos of panic and anxiety is rubbing against the plates of bone and irritating them. The nights are an exhausting battle against the dark places inside. I desperately want to escape and push my head down into the sand but so far I'm still forcing myself to keep going through gritted beak. Total sleep last night was 90 minutes, and that was hardly a relief. Everything is tense now, from jaw to floor, which is where I keep ending up. Maybe I need a high-sided cot to keep me from being thrown out of the ring in my nocturnal wrestling bouts.
My moods are on the spin too. Very low today. No doubt its the sleep depravation. I know I can't think straight anymore.
h/t OCICBW
3 comments:
Your heart threads have been on my mind lately. I could not possibly remember everyone mentioned yesterday, and so I just said "Paul's Heart Threads" during the prayers of the people. You must be praying constantly...
Oh, Susan S., I don't. I can't keep up myself as I look at all the requests that come through so many of our online friends, plus the folks we know in the flesh. Sharing so many concerns.
Putting up a heart thread is sort of like lighting a candle. I offer up my prayer and let it burn while my mind is everywhere else.
At the prayers of the people I find myself offering "all the folks I've forgotten but mean to include" trusting God to know all our blog friends and their loved ones and all the needs and concerns there. This one's mother and that one's brother and the other one's children, and that news of cancer, or this of divorce, or .... well, you know well what I mean. I can't keep lists any more, they just get lost, and my mind can't begin to keep track of much of anything these days.
I let the candles pray for me. And the heart threads too. It is nice to know that there is a fellowship of loving hearts reaching out - in whatever form for each is comfortable and meaningful - to enfold the cosmos in love and compassion.
Oh, Susan S., I don't. I can't keep up myself as I look at all the requests that come through so many of our online friends, plus the folks we know in the flesh. Sharing so many concerns.
Putting up a heart thread is sort of like lighting a candle. I offer up my prayer and let it burn while my mind is everywhere else.
At the prayers of the people I find myself offering "all the folks I've forgotten but mean to include" trusting God to know all our blog friends and their loved ones and all the needs and concerns there. This one's mother and that one's brother and the other one's children, and that news of cancer, or this of divorce, or .... well, you know well what I mean. I can't keep lists any more, they just get lost, and my mind can't begin to keep track of much of anything these days.
I let the candles pray for me. And the heart threads too. It is nice to know that there is a fellowship of loving hearts reaching out - in whatever form for each is comfortable and meaningful - to enfold the cosmos in love and compassion.
Post a Comment