Saturday, May 09, 2009

A modest proposal - updated

I have a suggestion that might prove highly salubrious for the Anglican Communion. Since moratoria are so very popular, here's mine.

All primates will stay home and shut the fuck up on all matters, orally or in writing, in public and in private, with the sole exception of preaching on Micah 6.8 and the New Commandment, until Lambeth 2028 [sic].

The time they save may be profitably spent in meditation and in community service.

This moratorium applies to their ghost writers.

Superglue may be applied where needed to assist them with this discipline.

I believe this suggestion has much to commend it and I anticipate that, if followed, it might lead to an explosion of grace and the sanctification of the faithful.

In an e-mail to a friend I included these comments:
I will be even-handed and include +Katherine with the rest of them as part of our gracious sacrifice for the larger good. Of course, +Rowan's book production would be cut off for almost two decades but surely he has enough royalties from his past efforts. Think of the trees saved!

My proposal would also help reduce the Anglican carbon footprint by ending all that jetting about the globe to plot. They could still froth at the mouth but only at home and in silence.
[Note: I think the PB is fabulous, but we have to play fair and this seems in the spirit of that voluntary fasting she encouraged.]
--the BB


Wormwood's Doxy said...

I'll vote for that!

David said...

Amen sweet brother, and agains I'd say Amen.

from your lips to the Holy Spirit's ears- though She may have to slap a few of them upside the head to get them to take Her seriously


Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Brilliant! I do wish to point out, however, that the ACC is the only body in the WWAC to be represented by all four orders of ministry. So, it's not just the Primates.

Want to extend the moratoria to the ACC entire?

Paul said...

Elizabeth, I had long held out hope that the laity on the ACC might preserve sanity. Evidently not, so I suppose your suggested extension is likewise called for.

motheramelia said...

It would be wonderful not to hear from the Primates for a long, long, while, but I really would miss hearing from++Katharine. Not sure I could give that up.

Paul said...

Motheramelia, I understand and sympathize. I really do think our PB is terrific. It is also evident that I have not quite gotten over her fasting comments because asking for others to make sacrifices just does not cut it. It is some time since I thought the AC was worth making any sacrifice for--it is just one big golden calf.

susan s. said...

Well, I wonder if we could extend this to some of the bishops re visiting other provinces/dioceses... especially Wright of Durham, who apparently is never at home. We want to be fair about this, so that would necessitate including all the others. Think of how many pastoral visits to churches within dioceses could be made. More than once every two years might be a good thing... or not... As Emily Latella would say, "never mind."

Wormwood's Doxy said...

Susan S.--do you remember the prayer for the Tsar in "Fiddler on the Roof"? That's the prayer that many parish priests pray for their bishops... ;-)


Paul said...

Susan S., my guess is that in most cases more frequent pastoral visits to congregations would be a good thing. Reconnect the bishops with their flock instead of allowing them to live in some rarefied world. Provided they stay for coffee hour and hear from the flock too, not just proclaim ukazes and run.

For most dioceses that could cut down on the bishop's travel expenses. Here in NM the diocese is the entire state and a bit of Texas, so many miles are always involved. There was a bishop here a few years back of whom I might say the less seen and heard the better. Nasty man of whom I have heard people use the terms mean and vindictive on numerous occasions. Perhaps Emily Latella was right.

Brian R said...

I agree in principle but think of us here in the Diocese of Sydney(Gafcon land). My church only invites our local bishops when essential (like confirmation) and regularly welcomes travelling bishops usually from other more enlightened dioceses in Australia but also from overseas. We even had +Gene Robinson in the congregation one memorable day but he was on holidays so I guess at his own expense. He and his partner stayed with our lay reader.

Paul said...

Brian R, I did think of situations such as yours, and may unexpected graces rain upon you.

This is, as so often on this site, emotional hyperbole. My Hebrew Scriptures professor many years ago warned us of "trying to make an analogy walk on all four."

Here in the Diocese of the Rio Grande we have been glad of visiting bishops as well. I still think confining primates to their provinces and applying duct tape to their mouths would be a general blessing worldwide. For the few voices we would miss there would be even more we should be glad not to hear.