"All Are Welcome" sand sculptureGrowing up in a conservative evangelical atmosphere, I was steeped in Scripture (for which I am very thankful). I also lived and moved and had my being in a milieu where God was always assumed and, presumably due to my own temperament, became a person who cannot NOT think theologically. I simply cannot understand anything as not being related to God, though I see no reason to drag God into every conversation or consideration. I am an oxygen-breathing critter but don't talk about oxygen very often; it's just there.
I was raised on endless sermons about how God saves us from sin, death, and hell. Mercifully, the Baptist church we attended had a pastor reared in the Reformed Church tradition, so he was thoughtful, tasteful, and not given to thundering about hellfire and damnation. Even so, it was all about fleeing the wrath to come by turning to Jesus.
The unfortunate part of all this was that there was little discussion of what we were saved FOR. Everything preached and taught seemed to center on what we were saved FROM. In other words, the positive aspect of the mystery of salvation was undernourished, to put it mildly, and the emphasis was consistently on SIN, DEATH, and HELL. It was a fear-based faith.
My summers were spent in a Christian summer camp environment where "conservative evangelical" was at the liberal end of the spectrum and ranting hellfire-and-damnation Fundamentalist was at the other. Everybody had their Scofield Reference Bible with the footnotes and interpretive framework of Cyrus Ingersoll Scofield, who came to evangelical Christianity after a career in law, politics, forgery, and alcoholism. He was mentored in premillennial dispensationalism and influenced by the Niagara Bible Conference His reference Bible was published by Oxford in 1909 and has been a mainstay of dispensationalist teaching ever since. Everybody I knew in that summer setting bought into it and I often wondered if they could distinguish between the text of Holy Writ and the notes by C. I. Scofield. [Answer: many did not.] (I used Wikipedia as a source here to refresh my memory on Scofield.)
Dispensationalism is a modern version of the human trait to divide history into periods by whichever criteria appeal to the person constructing an interpretive framework. It emerged from the teachings of John Nelson Darby (1800-1882). It is not an ancient teaching of the Church but a modern innovation that does not fit in with patristic, medieval, or Reformation thought. So I won't write more about it here, but it's what I was raised on and it is entangled in a lot of the rapturist thinking infecting the world today.
Whenever eschatophilia takes over (yes, I just coined that for an inordinate "love of the last things" and I don't mind in the least that it seems vaguely scatological), people obsess over determining when and how Jesus will return. I consider it a variant of OCD.
One aspect of obsession is: "Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress." One aspect of compulsion is: "The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive." I am not in any way qualified to apply the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria, but it sounds like Rapture obsession to me. (See OCD link above.)
Anyway, operating out of pervasive fear--fear of God's wrath and judgment--folks fixate on Jesus as their ticket out of hell and then, to save other miserable sinners, foment more fear in order to scare others into heaven. It is a bizarre approach and I do not find it healthy.
My instinct was that if God is love (as the Bible teaches, go read 1 John some time), then somehow the wrath of God and the concept of judgment are part of and subsidiary to love, not the core reality of God. This calls for rethinking those concepts, which I did at around the time I was a senior in college. I can write about that some other time.
What I launched into was a search for a theology that made sense to me, one that spoke of the positive aspects of salvation, one that was GOOD News, not more bad news. I have always felt that nobody needs to be told they're a sinner and that fear is a piss-poor motivation for anything other than removing oneself immediately from physical danger. The God I encounter in Jesus is not a terrorist, not a deity in the fear-mongering racket.
So I walked away from the tracts, the hellfire sermons, and the psychological manipulation (which was rampant and repulsive) that I associated with the evangelism I grew up with. It was kakangelism (bad news propagation, another coinage of today) not evangelism.I remember someone telling me that we were only lovable in Christ. What's so wrong with that? Well, it divides the Holy Trinity, for starters. The Father hates us, Jesus rescues us from the divine justice and holiness that loathes such sinful sacks of shit as we are, and so the Father looks at us through the lens of Jesus and everything is all better. SSJOAS! "Of course," one protests, "that is not what we mean." Well, it's what comes across, trust me. And. I. Just. Don't. Buy. It.
That is not good news.
Nonetheless, I do believe in Good News. I do believe in God's love reaching out to embrace all creation. I do not reject our sinfulness (how on earth could I without lying to myself?) but we remain, always, God's beloved creation and objects of God's mercy and grace. We are cherished. By God. First, last, and always. (Wrath is about God's passionate response to the damaging and distortion of the objects of God's love, not God's rejection of God's creation.)
The world cries out for good news. The world yearns for acceptance, healing, and transformation. I believe the Word incarnate in Jesus Christ brings us good news. The Good News. I rejoice to proclaim it. I rejoice to see it at work in the lives of people. I am committed to it.
And so I am still an evangelical Christian. But I am not motivated by fear, nor do I see any reason to instill fear in others. My faith in God's goodness far exceeds my awareness of human frailty and wickedness. I am not threatened by other religious traditions and believe that the One Creator of all, the Word that enlightens every person born into the world, and the universal Spirit are and always have been at work throughout creation and history.
I seek to follow Jesus in inviting people to know God, not to coerce anyone into believing anything. I do not worry if people know God in ways different than I do because God is bigger than me and my understanding. I do believe that there are ways of death as well as ways of life, that not all teachings and practices are healthy or holy, that not everything out there is true or good or helpful. So I don't just say it's all the same, it's all good, every teaching is equal. But I do not think that sacred wisdom from other traditions is wrong just because it is not from my tradition. How ignorant and arrogant that would be. That is why I say this is a pagan-friendly site, and Buddhist-friendly, Jewish-friendly, Hindu-friendly, Muslim-friendly, Sikh-friendly, indigenous-friendly, etc. I see all humanity as my siblings and I have a vision of the Big Party (messianic banquet, if you will, or wedding supper of the Lamb) where everybody is invited and all share. You may turn down the invitation but I don't think God ever retracts it.
[Thank God the Big Party is not a Lambeth Conference, btw.]
So I am an unashamed evangelical who is not out to collect scalps for Jesus, not out to make anyone believe the way I do, not worried about the fate of your soul (I leave that to God), but who does gladly share God's love.
I vehemently reject all preaching of hate and fear as not Gospel. I have no use for kakangelism nor any patience with those who propagate it.
This makes me a heretic in the eyes of many. Their problem; not mine.
Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8)
Now, head on over to Susan Russell's site and read about being Gospel. Just say no to hatemongering.
--the BB
9 comments:
Jesus was a "heretic" too.
Preach it.
Having read this three times now, I am still taking it in.
First of all, thank you for sharing your life history there... Very interesting to read. Having grown up in the suburbs of NYC in the early-mid 60's, I lived in a very Catholic neighborhood and almost every one I knew was Catholic.
School was Catholics, Jews and some Protestants mostly. As a result, I was not exposed to what you were until much later in life.
And my Catholic upbringing was extremely benign in general.
So many of my friends in life and blog worlds are non-religious and often have trouble seeing or understanding why I practice and live my faith.
If I could I would send this to them all and say see that third paragraph from the end.
And I always speak of the Big Table, the Big Party where there is always room for another and no room for the hellfire.
The words kakangelism and eschataphilia are now in my vocabulary.
The link was also moving. A non-religious as well as, non-judgmental blogfriend just wrote to me about meeting Robinson. She had such an excellent experience of that moment.
Peace to all peace for all.
Thank you Paul.
Paul, do you know this parody of an old evangelical hymn?
'My faith is built on nothing less
Than Scofield notes and Scripture Press'.
:)
Great roars and cackles of laughter, Tim! No, I had not heard it, but I do know the tune to sing it to and it does resonate mightily.
Thanks for sharing it.
Paul, it was good to read your story. Growing up Catholic, I did not experience the horrors that others have recounted, but the emphasis was still very much on "Thou shalt not" and not much about "Thou shalt".
I was in my 30s before I even heard of the rapture, and it sounded outlandish to me. What I could not understand about the rapturists (is that a word?) is why they were so concerned and focused on the rapture, and trying to figure out the signs as to when it was coming, when any of us, without warning, could draw our last breath in the next second. Why didn't they talk about death as much as they spoke of the rapture? That's a pretty major transition, too.
I would ask them about that, and they would look puzzled, as though I was missing something that was quite obvious to them. But I never got an answer, either.
Mimi, it is a very strange fixation that operates in a semi-hermetically sealed world. It makes little or no senses to outsiders and your questions would stupefy them as they just don't consider questions that do not fit into their framework.
It is also a world-hating atmosphere in which one yearns to be free of physicality and history, nothing matters but the afterlife and getting one's ticket for it punched now. You don't care that the world is going to hell because you are convinced that you are going to heaven. It appeals to underdogs and misfits who hope their marginalized lives here will be vindicated and compensated in glory. It is very rigid and authoritarian and cannot tolerate ambiguity or mystery.
Altogether quite unappealing to most folk. Not to mention a load of heretical crap. (C'mon, how do you really feel, Paul?) I have rather strong feelings about false prophets, from Hal Lindsay through Tim LaHaye.
Paul,
before I finish a marvelous post, are you aware of the Franciscans in the 14th century, especially Joachim of Fiore? There's a book in the Classics of Western Spirituality called, I believe, *Apocalyptic Spirituality* which is very good on this antecedent to Premillennialist Dispensationalism.
Yes, johnieb. I have seen the book you mention and would not be surprised if I have a copy floating around. I was going to get a PhD in early and medieval Church history but dropped out, so know of Joachim et al., though I have not delved into that movement. Also dropped out of a DMin in multi-cultural and interfaith ministry, so I am a double dropout. Funny, those fields all fold into my fantasy fiction writing, so guess it is a very different type of dissertation(s).
LOL, Tim; I know the tune and appreciate the lyrics!
Amen, Brother Paul, preach it; bring the Word of Jesus!
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